Daily Delight #67

James Franco a la Freaks and Geeks – so adorable.

And getting lit with me sister awesome. Good ole days.

Daily Delight #67

30×30 Update: #10 Down

Mayhem, mayhem, mayhem!

I was super excited that while I was in Portland with M, we got to go to a roller derby bout. I never even knew roller derby existed, other than the occasional mention on Clarissa Explains It All – someone’s mom played roller derby (Dangerous Debbie). But lo and behold, roller derby is alive and thriving in America.

I never made it to a bout in Baltimore, but after seeing Whip It, I was pretty thoroughly assured that it’d be right up my alley. Cute-skanky, skivvy-bearing outfits, racing around all fast, drinking, badass nicknames, physical contact and skinny rough neck boys – yeah, I think I might be into this.

The Portland bout was great. It was the Axles of Annihalation v. Slaughter County Roller Vixens. The AOA (which are the Rose City Rollers B-team) had the home team advantage but sadly they lost it to some out of towners from Washington. Ouch.

Highlights? The badass names. My favorites: I’maeat Yurbabies; Itsallova Yaface; Viagrra Falls; Twat Rocket; Scuttlebutt; and Mistress von Trample

And On Da Sligh has got to be one of the best roller derby players out there. (Turns out she was a hockey player, it showed.) She was flying by the others girls and got past any jam like it ain’t no thang.

There was the occasional bad hit, one girl ended up on the ground for a while. The hush that fell over the crowd didn’t help anything, because all you could hear was her. Awkward.

Part of me wants to step up my 30×30 challenge, to include making it onto a team. But with all the other things I have going, I think I’m okay settling with getting rowdy from the stands. My derby name? The Nether-Regions, I’d wear a blonde wig with thick braided pigtails – you know, very Dutch-esque. Wonk, wonk, wonk.

A few very bad photos.

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30×30 Update: #10 Down

The Zombie Apocalypse

I used to joke with myself that I kind of wanted some crazy post-apocalyptic world to happen (with or without zombies) because I thought I could handle it. I thought I could handle it after having read the Zombie’s Survival Guide. In retrospect, I definitely could not handle it, especially if there were zombies. You know, due to my lack of fighting skills, gun skills, athleticism, etc. I’d probably go in the first round. I don’t feel that bad, quite frankly, because you all would perish quickly too. Really, I think I just hope for this because I would enjoy the quiet, and not so much the constant struggle for survival.

But I had a crazy dream last night that I can only describe as being hell on earth aka the zombie apocalypse. For those of you who have never had a sleep over with me, well, I can have some pretty vivid, intense dreams. This was one of them. I’ll try to hash out what I can remember here, sorry if it doesn’t make too much sense. Dreams never do.

The Dream
I believe the year is 2012. Yes, I had this distinct thought in the middle of the dream, thanks mysterious Mayan prophecy for that detail. I also think I was in Baltimore. I was babysitting for these three blond girls, and they were pretty awful and terrible to each other, very intense sibling rivalry. They couldn’t have been much older than 10. Well, everything starts to escalate, they fight with each other, they try to fight with me (I kick one of the girls’ asses), and then they run upstairs. I thought the two girls had left the house (from the upstairs?), but nope. I hear them moving around and when I yell for them, they hide in their room. I yell for the third girl and I hear nothing. I know this is bad. I grab the phone to call 911 and the police. I walk up the stairs and even though I can’t see the third girl anywhere, I already know (since it is a dream) that the other two had cut her up and stuffed her into a duffel bag. The other two girls are ravenous, blood covering their blond locks. I decide to get the hell out of there.

I wander onto the street and there’s this quiet commotion. There’s a large group of people chasing after another group of people. It appears to be black people chasing white people (maybe this is why I thought it was Baltimore.) They run by me, but I figure something’s not right and I should get out of here. I go towards some train tracks, which I can only equate to the Light Rail. There two older black men stop me, they’re frail, their hair is gray, clothes torn. I assume they’re part of Baltimore’s numerous homeless population. They try to talk to me, saying all this stuff about a dog. The man coughs on me. He tries to grab me for help. Another group of people go running by, they’re talking about some dog disease and I put two and two together.

Apparently, a disease is spreading across the city, and it’s making people go crazy (the little girls) and perhaps even turning them into zombies. I grab a rock and a metal bar and use it as a bike/scooter (I know that this would not work in real life), to keep ahead of the crowds gathering at the light rail. Trains are coming by and stopping. I look around me and start to realize that everything is decayed and destroyed – buildings, platforms, people, etc. I wonder whether these trains stopping are a good or bad thing. I high tail it out of the huge crowds dodging people as I go.

Eventually I find myself under a highway underpass. It’s a big open space and there are large concrete pillars and random piles of vagrant leftovers – shopping carts, blankets, tents, etc. – randomly placed. The evening is approaching, the city is lit in the faint orange glow of streetlamps. It’s quiet but I can here the slow drag of diseased people. I ditch the rock and hold onto the metal rod. I’m tired. I know I can’t get out of here without drawing attention to myself. I’ve got to take a stand, I’ve got to fight. I push my back against a pillar and wait. Someone is approaching to my left. My heart beats horribly fast and I’m scared. And like in a movie, I know where the “zombie” is and I turn from off the pillar and whack, whack, whack – metal rod right to the head – whack, whack, whack. The zombie goes down. I run a little and see another one, this older white guy is wearing a gray shirt and has a big pumpkin head with curly hair, whack right to the head. He goes down.

I’m glad I’ve gotten the hang of this, but it’s taking a lot out of me. I’m tired, I can’t run very far (this is the only true to real life part of my dream! lol). I’m beginning to wake up and realize that this is all a dream. I’m wondering if I shouldn’t let one of these zombies kill me, so I can wake up, because that’s what always happens when you die in a dream. But I was like no, this is about the struggle for survival, I have to keep going. I think this was when I had my realization that it was 2012 that it was “real” and I had to make the most of it. Eventually, I ran down a side street into the smoky haze of sewer steam, and woke up.

End Dream

A slightly strange after note: It is now a gloomy Sunday morning. And my house is trembling just a bit. I can see the plant on the table tremble, and the coffee dish is making a light clinking noise. I thought maybe it was my computer, but when I went into the bathroom, the clock on the wall was also shaking a little. It is just a very eerie feeling. I am the only one home, and I haven’t heard a car go by yet on the highway outside my house.

Note to self: Prepare for zombie apocalypse.

The Zombie Apocalypse